Further news from yours truly. Updates on my crazy mother in law and the situation from the previous blog. 

Okay, so maybe I was a little bit harsh on that last blog. However, I have some new information that might support why I was so angry in the first place. 

It's been a month since I've seen my mother in law. I haven't even talked to her on the phone or face to face. Nothing. I did try to call her, but she ignored me. Just as well, I've been ignoring her too. I deleted my Facebook. I'm so sick of it being on my phone. I love not being on social media. It's nice. Yes I have a pinterest, instagram and snapchat, but that is the only "social" things I have for people to access me. The reason I got rid of it: My mother in law. Well, get this... 3 days ago my husband receives a text message from her that read:

"Nate, I feel like Amanda hasn't wanted anything to do with me for a while now. I've tried to get a hold of her and try to talk to her, but she just ignores me. I want to have a relationship with her like I do with Meshelle and Christy (those are my sister in laws). I'm sitting here at Matt and Meshelle's with tears streaming down my face. I know that one day it will happen and I keep praying that it will, but right now it just hurts. Thanks for listening, I love you son."

Okay, seems harmless enough. Maybe she really does feel bad. So we replied. 

"Mom,it hurts me to see you and Amanda not talking, and I wish nothing more than to see you two talking again, however, I know there were things said on both ends that were wrong. I didn't appreciate the way you talked to Amanda. It hurt me as much as it hurt her. I don't feel like the way the situation was handled was very appropriate. I know Amanda loves you and thinks about you because she prays for you often. I love you two and hope things will get resolved soon." 

Then she replied like this:

"My behavior, what about hers? Did you ream her like you just reamed me? Did you tell her she was wrong too or is it just my fault?"

"And what about her previous behavior of not wanting to do anything with us since October?" 

Whoa, this is turning into a "it's not my fault, it's hers" kinda thing. So, My husband obviously ignored those texts, so I called my mother in law. She didn't answer. So I left a message

"Hi it's Amanda, I just wanted to say that this whole tension between us isn't good and I just wanted to apologize for anything I might have said that upset you. It wasn't my intention to hurt you or be mean to you. I hope you have a good day. Bye"

Then I got a text message from my mother in law: (this is 100% accurate from my mother in law)

" Hi. Thanks for your message. I want to be your friend and I really though that we had that going for us. 

I want nate and kim to be in the conversation as well. 

I'm sorry too, but I did try to talk to you a day after the initial episode at your house. I did not know I was blocked, except on Facebook. Never have I been treated or blocked for so long. That hurts, but it shows maturity. 

I'm sorry for my part in the disagreement. I should not have put the two things together, needing to see that my daughter was okay, and my frustration in being told we hadn't done anything to help her. 

I am sorry

I will take me some time to trust again, but I've forgiven you. Thanks for Finally returning my call. 

I do have one more request. It has to do with the advice Kim and I were given when we were married 42 years ago in the Logan temple by President Heaton. 

He said don't take anything negative about your spouse or spouse's family back to your family. Only tell them good things that happen, because they will always take their child's side of things. 

I would appreciate if you have something to say about me that you are frustrated with you come to me, not your mom, Amanda. Thanks

I can truly say that i haven't talked badly about you to anyone. You are our son's choice in a wife and we love you like a daughter. We don't always agree with our kids, but we love them unconditionally."

I sat back and started to bawl. She has no idea the severity of the situation. Come to find out, There are SEVERAL offenses she has made against me that are untrue. 

First- she has accused me of telling her that she was a bad mother. This is untrue. I never once said she was a bad mom or that she never helped her other kids. When my husband told her this, she said 

"well she was snappy with me and I didn't appreciate it". When she asked me why we were picking up my sister in law I responded by saying "Somebody I guess had to do it, so since she called us, I assumed we were the ones". Apparently, That statement is what she is REALLY mad at me about. From that one line, She has pulled out every hateful and lying thing to try and make it sound like I was the one who instigated this whole problem. 

Second- she has accused me of being immature by blocking her on facebook and from my phone. When I unblocked her and was able to see the 500 rude messages she had sent me, I was grateful I did block her. She said nothing but rude things to my while she was blocked. That right there is Harassment, and she could have a police notice on her door from that. Now let me ask you, Isn't it just as immature for her to come barging into my house and my bedroom to yell at me and accuse me of doing her wrong because of one sentence I said that she took in the wrong way? We could have avoided this whole CATASTROPHE if she had simply said "Amanda, something you said to me the other night hurt my feelings and I want some clarification". That right there, totally makes sense. I would have apologized immediately for upsetting her, because my intention wasn't to be mean to her. 

Third- she told me that i shouldn't tell my mom anything about her. Okay, I feel like that is good advice and is fair. However, 4 of my husbands siblings and their spouses have talked to me and they all think I was right in the situation. They also told me that my mother in law has called every one of them and back- talked about me to them. WAIT WAIT WAIT... didn't she just say not to talk to your family about your spouse or your spouses family? AND yet, here it is that 5 people- including my husband have proven TEXT messages that she has ragged about me to them and has done the very thing she told me not to do. Hypocrite. 

Fourth- she has complained that I haven't done anything with them since October. Sigh, here we go. 

In October, I called my mother in law and said "Hey, if you and dad aren't doing anything tonight, can we meet you at the Artic Circle in Spanish Fork?" Yeah, so we had dinner with them and spent like an hour and a half with them. 

In November, My mother in law said "hey, we want to go to dinner with you, can you come"

So they took us out to a new Chinese Restaurant and we spent another couple of hours with them. 

In December, my mother and father in law left around December 15th to go to Ohio and Texas to see my other in laws that live in those states. They were gone for 2+ weeks. From Dec 1 until the 12th, my husband had finals and was studying his butt off. So, I rest my case. 

Maybe I'm totally wrong. Maybe I should just let go of this and just say that she is right and apologize profusely for being a horrible person and being raised by snotty people? 

Needless to say I've blocked my mother in law on my phone again because I don't need it blown up with horrid text messages while I'm at work or at school. And, I deleted my facebook so she can't say anything about that. I surely don't know what to say to her, but I know that one day I will say the right thing and we can just push this past us. But for now, I'm fine not having her in my life and my husband is okay with that as well. He's never had a relationship with his mom and he definitely doesn't want to start now.